You’re Broke Because You’re Not Married? — Kingsley Okonkwo Sparks Reactions
Popular Nigerian relationship coach and pastor, Kingsley Okonkwo, has stirred serious debate after declaring that many men struggling financially today are in that position because they refused to marry earlier in life.
Speaking during a recent church service, he challenged a common belief among single men that they are unmarried because they don’t have enough money. According to him, the opposite may actually be true. In his view, some men do not have money because they have not taken on the responsibility that marriage brings.
He argued that marriage forces a man to grow up financially. As a single man, survival can be basic. A modest meal, shared bills, occasional support from friends life can run on minimal effort. There is little pressure to stretch beyond comfort. But once married, everything changes. Rent must be paid. Food must be constant. Plans must be made. A family depends on you. That weight, he suggested, pushes men to increase their earning capacity and become more intentional.
There is some logic behind this thinking. Research from different parts of the world has shown that married men often earn more than their single counterparts over time. Experts attribute this to increased responsibility, stability, and long-term planning. However, it is crucial to note that marriage itself does not create wealth. It can encourage discipline and drive, but it does not automatically transform someone’s financial reality.
In Nigeria’s current economic climate, the issue is even more complex. Rising inflation, unstable job markets, and increasing living costs are genuine challenges facing young men. Many delay marriage not because they are unserious, but because they feel unprepared. The desire to be financially stable before starting a family is not necessarily irresponsibility it can also be prudence.
Okonkwo also warned against waiting until one’s forties before settling down, suggesting that age brings changes that may complicate family life and long-term goals. While that perspective may resonate with some, others believe that timing should be personal. Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and rushing into it solely as a financial motivator could backfire.
Personally, I think there is a powerful message hidden in his statement, even if the delivery sounds controversial. Responsibility does shape character. Having someone depend on you can awaken ambition. But marriage should not be treated as a financial solution. If a man lacks vision, discipline, or work ethic while single, those issues will not disappear after the wedding ceremony. In fact, they may become more obvious.
On the other hand, a focused single man with clear goals can build wealth, stability, and purpose before marriage. Growth ultimately comes from mindset, planning, and consistent action not simply from changing marital status.
The real takeaway from this conversation is not that single men are broke because they are unmarried. It is that adulthood demands responsibility. Whether that responsibility comes through marriage or personal conviction is a choice each individual must make wisely.
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